middle school hell part 2

The smell is/was always present in that area (rubber town, Algonquin Parkway near the xway) The smell permeates through every hall, every class. When you go home it rides in your clothes and stays with them until they're washed. The smell is everywhere.

I hid from everyone. If one person sees you and points you out the rest of the hungry dogs are on you. The best way to not be a victim is to be an aggressor. So the sea of color you mention, they are all against you. Black, white all either trying not to be seen themselves or trying to take the focus off of themselves. Being an aggressor takes the focus off of you. I eventually learned this myself and teased and fought and hurt the innocent.

What did I hid from...

• Being beat up. Or just hit, kicked or knocked down. One of the favorite afternoon events of sport was to jump from the landing of the stairs onto the backs of the tightly packed crowd as they fell trying to leave for the day. Human dominoes.
  

• Having money "borrowed" from me. I eventually stopped bringing money. The good news, I accumulated enough money to buy my first eight cassette tapes. Horaay VH 1984.
  

• Having my books/folders/shoes/locker lock stolen. I lost two locks in one year. Yes the first was my fault, you should never leave an unlocked lock hanging on your locker. But the second was taken from my hand before I could relock it. Taken from my hand after I was knocked to the ground a kicked. And you might think that generic shoes are certainly safe... But even Keds are very desirable to such people. Yep two year old Keds.
  
• Being threatened into fighting for the enjoyment of larger aggressors. Always a fun day.
  

And everyday knowing that you had to return the next day.

Your choice of clothes is very important when you want to hide from everyone. I perfected the ensemble: Members Only jacket (actually it was the competing brand whose name escapes me), light blue t-shirt with pint "I want my MTV" logo, two year old shoes and old faded blue jeans. I supposed it helped that we were really poor at the time. I had four shirts that I had deemed go for school, i.e. good for hiding, and another two or three that I really did not like but wore one day a week. This is not lie, I wore exactly the same thing for picture day two years in a row.

What did I learn from this, I believe the question was:
"do you have compassion for the minorities you see within the white sea?"
No.

I learned to hate. I concept I knew nothing about before. Hate.

Today when I unexpectedly come across (as in turn a corner in a store) a black male I immediately have one of two reactions...
1. Victim. I know you are going to hurt me, just get it over with.
Or
2. Severe angry. I want to kill you for everything you did to me.